sincere love.
love deeply.
care for others more than yourself.
cliche phrases, yes? but...have you really thought about these issues recently? What does this really mean? and what does it look like in reality?
several nights this week i have stayed up talking with my roommates until late in the night (or early morning). it's fantastic to engage others in issues which really matter. to have people in my life who are incredibly fun to be around...but can also engage my mind and spirit at a deep level.
one topic of conversation tonight was the role of our personal reflection upon the work of the holy spirit. how much do we need to be intune w/ ourselves to see God's work in our lives? what does it really mean to walk in the spirit? those that do not have the holy spirit can reflect upon their life and look back to issues in their past which are now impacting their decisions today. you don't need the holy spirit for that. but...we DO have the holy spirit...so, how does this change our self-reflection? how do we know it's the holy spirit bringing stuff to our minds or just our personal reflection? anyone can reflect upon their personal lives.
how do we know when it's the holy spirit telling us to do something...and when is it just pure craziness. have you felt the Lord leading you to do something, or talk to someone, and it feels quite abnormal. you're not sure if you just ate something bad for lunch or if this could possibly be God prompting you to act. what do you do in this situation? my first inclination is to assert obedience to the act you feel needs to be done if it's not against what you know scriptures to say. if you are completely off...then you'll learn the next time. you have to learn how to discern the wee small voice of God. perhaps you'll mess up...but, you'll never know if you just sit around.
another thought is how the church seems to not do an adequate job of helping people determine their spiritual gifts. i am writing a paper on spiritual gifts within the church and how churches help their members determine their giftings and how individuals determine how to plug into the body using their gifts. do churches help their members identify their gifts? what of those which have 'controversial' gifts? after extensive conversations with a few different friends...i think discernment is one of my giftings. for a few different reasons... tonight someone mentioned that certain people may have the ability to discern spirits and gave an example of a girl who would get sick on certain buddist holidays, and when they were doing something heavy in ministry (overseas). things began to click in my mind as expereinces in thailand and ukraine came flooding back to my mind. i recall sitting outside an old orthodox church in ukraine just trembling and crying. everyone else enjoyed their day touring this old church. but i felt this weight and felt like a fool as i was unable to even go inside. i couldn't pinpoint it...but, it was like a weight. similar to what i felt in thailand. is this different than what others experience? am i just emotional....or weird? or...could it be something different...??
people have called me intutitive. i can often feel something before it happens. i can feel awkwardness in relationship. i can often see if someone is struggling or holding something back. this comes with being observant...but, i am beginning to think it might be something more than that. and what is my role in being able to discern these things? perhaps it's my ability to reach out to those who are hurting. i am drawn to them because i can easily identify them. not the physically hurting as much as the emotional/mental. but what of the ability to discern evil...? and what's the difference between evil and our nature? can i determine when a struggle is deeper...or...not? how do i learn more about this?
would the churches i've been involved with in the past rally around the idea of me going to a church where the gift of healing is practice regularly? what if actual healings were taking place? am i straying far from my faith? or am i exploring something deeper...and a heart/passion of what is missing within alot of churches today?
i think the local church can be on two extremes. one is the extreme knowledge/word aspect of the spectrum. The word is adhered to an extreme (this is good). Knowledge is sought after and much attention is placed upon determining the meaning exactly as the original text was saying....to the extreme the 'layperson' feels as if they can't even understand their own bible without some pastor dude telling him what it really means. the other extreme is the grappling in all the gifts of the spirit with no control. people feel far from God if they dont' exemplify certain gifts everyone else seems to enjoy. people dive into self-reflection and sprituality without regards to what the Bible asserts. they look down upon the 'bible thumpers' as those who don't live in the spirit.
where's the balance?
is it found in a small church?
or the mega church?
or...in solitude?
or...in small community?
i'm quite certain i am exactly where God would have me right now. i feel like i've learned more, and been challenged more, in the last few weeks than all of last year. God does answer prayer... i am thankful to live with people that really love and care for me even though i have only known them two weeks. incredible.
love must be sincere.
...are we loving sincerely? or...just coasting? i think love will require much of ourselves...and much effort. it's not easy.
reflect upon this....b/c, my roommates and i have...and it's pretty incredible. sit on it for a few weeks and ask yourself as you encounter others, 'what does it mean to really love this person...? How would Jesus treat them?'
