i was slightly freaking out in my last post. i was attempting to cram too much information into my brain at one time. it was bursting. for our midterm exam the professor gave us 26 essay questions to prepare. it wasn't terrible...but, just alot of information to keep straight. i feel like i have learned alot. but, i am still not ready to go back home and attempt to defend what i have learned. alas...i need not defend what i have learned! i feel like i am just better able to articulate what is going on within our hearts. it's not like i am learning something completely new and extraordinary.

my fam came to visit as most who read this blog know. it was really fun. my sis is prego with a little guy named jonah. i'm excited about that. although, i think he's going to be a big guy as compared to abbie. that's ok. then abbie will have someone to protect her as she gets older. jonah will beat up any guy that's jerkish to her! watch out guys!

i like to take pics. my dad takes pics of me taking pics. i kinda like how my hands are positioned in this shot.

my mom bought me an xmas tree for my house. i put it up in the hotel room and abbie helped me decorate it. she was a great helper. i love my bright little green tree!
my sis and i on the drive to san diego. she is happy. i am happy. she is prego...and i am not.

i did abbie's hair after her bath. i wish my hair could do that!

i just thought this pic was cute. i think abbie looks like an old woman in this photo. i'm not sure why. it might be how she is bending down to hug the dog. like an old woman? i dunno.

me....showing off how much i like to take pics. abbie is showing off. she pretty much did whatever i told her. i wonder how long that phase will last? i think i'll probably be her favorite aunt. i let her drink my soda.

I am pointing. my mom is confused. zach is pretending he cares. and abbie is just cute.


abbie is expressing how much she hates the beach and wants to play at the park.
abbie meeting her hero, 'rella.' she was pretty stoked about this. we got to see her in the parade later. that was fantastic too.

we are currently being corrupted. but the sweet thing is that God has placed the law within us - the Holy Spirit. And that dude is going to transfer his heart into our minds which will begin the 'putting off' process. We must put off the old man and put on the new. the old is currently corrupting us. We must go on a journey with the Spirit into to hearts to discern what is His work and what is ours. We are decieved about what is really going on within our hearts. We need a person to reveal that to us. The first step is to recognize what the mess is....the next is cleaning it up. The degree to which we are unaware of the reality of our heart is the degree to which our heart is hidden from us. We have all these sin constructions which have been developing since birth. No amount of putting on will take care of these sin structures within our heart. We must do some deep soul work to rid those weeds that have entangled our heart. But less we pull out the good things...sometimes the weeds are allowed to remain. We must learn to sit with the gardner amongst our weeds.

sigh. it is crazy stuff, eh? I was at a family friends home over the thanksgiving holiday and he asked me what program i was doing. i mentioned, 'spiritual formation' and he went slightly crazy. he said he had read about 'thats sorta stuff' in christianity today. he obviously thought he was the expert now. it made me feel dumb. like i was wasting my life while his kids are all married w/ multiple phd's. often i awake and think these things...and wonder what the heck i am doing with my life. is this a waste? can i even do this? what is even the point of being in this program? i think of certain individuals in my life and what they must think of me. why...do i continually desire other peoples approval? people that probably don't give a crap about me or what i am doing....however, i am still trying to appease them. it's silly really. but, alas. i that's the reality of my heart. and...now i must sit and ask why this is so. why do i care more about what others think of me then what my creator? perhaps...b/c i do not trust the creator has my best in mind for me. yup...that's pretty much it.

studying....like one has never done before.

so...get this. we are just having a midterm in a class and the semester is quickly coming to a close. hilarious. and get what we are suppose to do prior to studying:

I. Before you study, spend half an hour tlaking ot the Lord about (a) what my be driving you as you take the exam and (b) what is to be a good attitude and motivation regarding taking this exam and (c)how much time you should reasonable take to study given your desires, time and intentions in life.

II. Write a half page on the experience of praying over exam.

That's how awesome my program is.

disney.

this is what i do in my freetime. go to disney. usually at late at night b/c i can rope eunice into going with me at that time. she's carrying a book...like she thinks we were actually going to study! ha. more pics of disney to come i am sure. it is the happiest place on earth.