tears.

i was reading tonight. and thinking about leaving this town which has been my home for nearly 5 years. crazy. i feel like i'm leaving a good life. and...moving on to the unknown. it's true. i'm scared.

i was told tonight i'm leaving the prime child bearing age. dang. i wish i didn't know that. will i ever get married and have kids? do i want to? maybe not. seriously. maybe not. i want to have someone to share life w/...and i want to be known. but my God provides me w/ a full and abundant life. i don't need a marriage for this! that's such a complete lie!!!!!!!!! and i mean all of those '!!!'.

joy. in christ. all about the cross. may my life be centered on the cross. my i take my past sin and give you glory for the work you have done in my life. no shame! b/c i can look and see all that you have saved me from! and you are glorified b/c of that. any guilt/shame is ultimately selfish. you have given me life. you have done this work in my life. thank you jesus.

thank you for sitting down at the right hand of God the father....a symbol that the work is completed. it's a continuous sacrifice for sin in our lives. there is nothing i can do to get closer to God...jesus has paid the price.

thanks.

may i be overwhelmed w/ joy.





help me to trust you w/ my future. i am sad at the loss of a certain relationship...and a deep questioning of the future. my hope is in you Jesus...may i be secure in that. this is the security in my life! not in anything else.