an invitation to trust.
can i trust that God wants the best for me?
how can i discern those different voices in my head?
just b/c something seems good...does it mean i should do it?
i feel i am being thrust into adulthood and i just really want to remain a child and told what to do. i don't want to have choices. it makes life more difficult. if you're told what to do...then you have room to complain about it. you can blame it on someone else. if you make the choice yourself...then you're stuck. and that sucks. (see how pessmistic i am? i can't see the good in it).
when it all comes down to it...i don't trust God. i don't trust that he is with me. i feel this neurotic need to figure him out... to be a few steps ahead of him. it's as if i think i can outthink him.

these thoughts are unfinished. but... i feel like i had a deep revelation today and thought i needed to make an attempt at sharing. my life feels like it's in turmoil at the moment. but...at the same time i feel this compelling invitation to trust. even though all the voices around me seem to be telling me to try harder and to start freaking out. anyways....as i approach the big O in the bank account...i can trust that God will provide. :)