a mesh.

i feel overwhelmed and unsettled. so much is being stirred within me making me long with an even greater intensity for something stable. something known. something certain. are these desires selfish? or...just a glimpse and hint of things that offer health to my soul? perhaps...an invitation to enter into those desires to see what lies there. i got stuck on one of the sentences of the books i was reading today: "you do not have to analyze your prayers to gain its benefits." I don't have to sit and analyze and determine what is going on to reap the benefits of prayer. this idea offers release to a bit of stress. i don't have to figure out what is going on for that certain thing to occur.

wow. how amazing. now, i think there is something to pondering and examining life. but...you don't have to have an answer to everything and have everything fit into a nice little box to experience it. i don't have to understand what is going on within a relationship in order to enjoy that relationship. just be. that is the theme and what i long for in my life. to just be. to be secure in just being.