awhile.

i didn't realize how long it had been since i posted. alas...it's been awhile. i don't have much to say. well, i think i probably do have a lot to say. on my three week the guy told me i should keep writing. i keep a lot of stuff inside me. sometimes it just erupts in this whole mess of stuff. i really like my thoughts sometimes. they make me laugh to myself. i wonder at people. i wonder what they are thinking or why they say the things they do. what makes people get up each morning and attempt to interact with the world around them? what's the point? at times it seems pointless to me....b/c everyone just feels lonely anyway. everyone attempts to make themselves look better in front of others. people seem to be jockeying for others attention and love. that's all we do...with no one secure enough to actually give the love. so...we're all a bunch of love hungry, unfulfilled savages. some people think they have found this thing to fulfill them...but it won't. they'll just bury the deep desire that is intrinsic to who they are. i don't want to bury that desire...but to live in it and embrace it. i make no sense. but, that's pretty much ok w/ me. you kept reading. so, thanks.

my three week has impacted me greatly... in ways i am not sure how to verbalize. it was an incredibly gift to be seen, heard and loved in a deep way. it was healing. i experienced healing. and...not in a cognitive understanding...but an actual experience. something which cannot be replicated. there is something to this relationship thing. perhaps that's why sin is broken relationship w/ God. we are relational beings. isn't that crazy? i don't want to be reliant and dependent upon others. but...the truth is that it's not good for man to be alone. we are made to be in relation with each other and God. sigh. how beautiful.