hard

i don't understand it.
i feel like it's really hard.
but, i know it's being obedient.
give me the strength to follow you Jesus.

i must not make decisions based upon what i desire.

the most important thing is knowing you. you're not out to get me...but desire me to experience freedom and to be myself. though...i think it's with a certain person...perhaps it's not. i need to trust you. please...help me to seek you and you alone. b/c you deserve the glory. b/c you are my creator...and there is no other.

how my heart aches. and how i want to blame. and how i want to crawl into a hole and cry. but, at the same time a relief of freedom has overcome me. i am tired of analyzing...and just need to allow you to heal my heart...

thanks for listening. thanks for loving and being faithful.