advocate.

what i long for is someone to fight for me. to identify wrong thinking in my life...and to help me fight to live in the truth. i parallel these thoughts with those of hope. sometimes...i am so completely exhausted of fighting...and my hope is lost. that is when i need others to hope for me. others to encourage me and tell me that moving to California is a possibility. it's not selfish. it's not absurd. it's a good thing. that i can make it. that i am ready. hoping for others is sometimes easier than for yourself. it's difficult in certain situations to hope for yourself. you get lost in all the practicalities and loose the big picture. it's easier to focus upon the fundraising instead of the ways God's gifted you to serve overseas. or to see the weeks prior to departure instead of the fact you WILL be there eventually. it's easier to see the financial burdens rather than the investment. we need others in our life to hope for us. to encourage us. to stick with us.


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i've developed a sort of pessimistic attitude as of late. feeling like everyone is pretty dang selfish and simply looks out for number one despite their verbal pleas that this is not true. but, actions speak loud...and say more than words. (doing a book chart on james right now...thus, 'faith dead w/o deeds' theme is emerging here). i desire someone to stick w/ me...for me. and not b/c i have something to offer them. b/c i am going to fail them. disappoint them. i don't want to be scared of disappointing someone and thus loosing a relationship. i want others to extend to me a deep love...unconditional. perhaps this isn't possible this side of heaven...and why it takes me with complete surprise when i find love like that here and now. friends who listen and advise and love me...even though i have absolutely nothing to offer them. maybe...that's the kind of love that we are called to. this type of love speaks powerfully into a society of deeply hurting people who have been burned by others looking out for themselves. so...may we not be selfish...and may God reveal to us areas that we are...and be selfless lovers. friends. radical... not needing this from others, as we receive this type of radical love from our creator. as we receive that love each morning...let us turn around and pour it out into others in our lives.
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i am tired right now of fighting and trying to find that hope. i was thinking how i long someone to be in my life to fight for me. to offer me that hope. and...dang. how silly am i! i have an advocate for me! Jesus Christ. He serves as my advocate before God. It is through Jesus I am able to have a hope! I have someone fighting for me! longing for me to believe and cling to truth! the holy spirit is in me...reminding me of truth. i long to be open and to listen to what he is telling me about my life. how to hope when everything seems useless.

i need hope.
hope gives life.
may we not loose hope.
may we hope in things that are everlasting rather than temporal.
for temporal things will pass away.
hope deferred makes a heart sick.

so...hope for others in your life when they cannot hope for themselves.