thoughts.

into a hole i shall crawl and perhaps not emerge.

that's the place i stand... the dangerous place of looking for any excuse to retreat into the darkness.  my tenderness annoys myself.  others shouldn't have to deal with it...and therefore why i think it'd be best for me to retreat so others don't have to deal with it.  i should handle it on my own.  i should buck up and get over it.  i should start capturing my thoughts and aligning them to truth.  but, i cannot hide from the pain that sears so deeply.  it's like a spear was plunged and punctured an aquafer which is now spewing water.  it's like those geysers that just spew gallons of water high into the air as the pressure builds up.  the pressure needs to be released.  i need healthy releases.  have these things been repressed for so long...the pressure is stronger than i realize?  beware of those sitting atop the geyser b/c they will be sprayed high into the air.  careful...stay away.