balls.

did the title grab your attention?  i hope so.  that's what i was going for.  my referral to balls is the emotional type.  the ball that gets all tangled up in the pit of your stomach.  you can just feel the weight there.  it's not b/c you have to take a dump (whatever that means...as a friend recently pointed out that it seems you leave a dump rather then take it)...but, whatever the case....the weight is present.  you don't really even have to think about one specific thought...but, all the emotion is present.  you could perhaps untangle a few of the strands of thought that combine to create the ball of weight at the pit.  does untangling these strands actually help?  should i stop attempting to untangle and examine each strand?  or...just acknowledge the emotional ball is there and allow myself to feel that?  is there benefit in this closer examination to the components of the ball?  i crave peace for my soul in this area.  i crave someone to come alongside me and fight for me.  i crave to feel in the inner part of myself that i am his beloved.