dude. it's been forever since i posted. well, not forever. my last post seemed to be sort of a downer. but, in reality not. i feel like i've been able to be more honest w/ myself and God in the last month then i have ever been before. much freedom has emerged from this time of honesty. i didn't realize i wasn't being honest... i needed a movement of the Spirit to show me that. the previous post was a beginning to understand the reality of my heart. i am learning much in this new program. if any of you are interested in hearing cds and seeing some handouts from class email me and let me know. the professor has a small notebook that is designed to be gone through either alone or in a small group to expose people to these thoughts/teachings. there are probably 8-10 cds worth of lectures complete with handouts. there is a small price for this (30 bucks). if you are interested send me some money and i'll get one in the mail to you. I would buy one for every person myself...but, alas, i can hardly afford myself at this point.

crappers.

i am capable of hating things...and people.
i kinda just realized that this year.
i never thought i was.
and i even something think i am justified.
and i even sometimes can't talk myself out of it.
that's when i must pray.
that's when i realize i can't do crap on my own.
crap.